


I am ash from your fire

by katiekat784



Series: Folklore [8]
Category: Gallagher Girls Series - Ally Carter
Genre: Abby and Rachel are badass women with lots of feelings, Book 4, F/M, Not completely canon, and I wish we could've gotten more interactions of just the two of them, but canon adjacent, only the good spy young, set during, sisterly chats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29057823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiekat784/pseuds/katiekat784
Summary: Abby finds Rachel in her office with a stack of paperwork and a bottle of wine. They discuss the thing that's been weighing heavy on their hearts for too long.OrShe sat cross legged on the couch, her hair pulled up into a loose ponytail and makeup slightly smudged. Her blouse that was neatly tucked in earlier had come out from her slacks, another indication of the mess of a day we had. I glanced around quickly, trying to gauge how much damage control I was in for.
Relationships: Abigail Cameron/Joseph "Joe" Solomon, Matthew Morgan/Rachel Morgan, Minor Rachel/Joe if you squint
Series: Folklore [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2131743
Kudos: 1





	I am ash from your fire

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of track 16 (Hoax) in Taylor Swift's Folklore album. It's been years since I've written anything for my favorite spy gang, and it's just like riding a bike.

_This has broken me down.  
_ _My twisted knife, my sleepless night.  
_ _You knew it still hurts underneath my scars._

  


I heard the steady clicking of my heels as I closed the lights and left my room. I glanced back halfway down the stairs, thinking that I should go back and change shoes but shook my head as I continued walking. If I went back now, I wouldn’t have the strength to do what I needed to. The halls of the academy were quiet, everyone had gone to bed hours ago. But as I turned the corner, I saw the light coming through the window of her office. I knocked on the door, preparing myself for what was to come.

I didn’t hear a response but opened the door slowly, trying to see what kind of night I was in for. “Hey, can we talk?”

She sat cross legged on the couch, her hair pulled up into a loose ponytail and makeup slightly smudged. Her white blouse that was neatly tucked in earlier had come out from those navy slacks she liked so much. It was another indication of the mess of a day we had. I glanced around quickly, trying to gauge how much damage control I was in for. Her blue blazer draped over the desk chair she wasn’t sitting in, a stack on files littered the usually spotless coffee table. If she was using the couch instead of her desk, I knew that she was only going through whatever paperwork was on hand to distract herself. I noticed the half-emptied bottle of wine and a full glass. It had been a really long day for everyone.

“Drinking on a school night, we haven’t done that in years. Rachel, what would the students think?” I teased, gesturing to the contents on the table.

She sighed, looking up from the file in her hands. She closed it and grabbed another glass that rested on the floor.

“I figured you were going to join me eventually.” She breathed out, gesturing me to sit down.

I sat beside her and grabbed the glass from the table, taking a long sip before setting it back down on the coaster. “Rachel,”

“Abby, I’m really tired and I don’t-” She stopped, running her hand through her hair. She avoided my gaze as I studied her face, there was a dullness that no amount of makeup could brighten.

“I don’t want to fight ether. I just…I just need you to listen to me. Just listen okay?” I spoke softy, placing her other hand below mine.

She only nodded, her body angling towards me. “He told me that he and Joe had been tracking the circle for over a year and they were close. He-they were getting so close but someone… knew what was happening. So, they pulled Joe to desk duty and Matt called me from Rome.”

My voice cracked and I felt the start of tears forming in my eyes, but I took a deep breath and continued. “He called me asking me to meet him. He couldn’t explain what he found in case they were listening, but he wanted me there. I told him he was insane and needed to stop or at least tell you, but he didn’t want to hear it, he was so focused...so determined. I told him that I wouldn’t be a part of it, and he needed to come home but he…he didn’t listen, and I didn’t hear from him again until Joe called me one morning asking if I heard from him. Rachel…”

She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled her hand away, her voice shaking. “Why…why didn’t you tell me? When you got off the phone or when you knew what he-they were doing? You knew him, how he was like and you had to know that he wasn’t going to stop or let me know anything until it was done.”

I swallowed, praying my voice wouldn’t waiver anymore than it already was. “Rachel, you had Cammie to take care of and we weren’t really speaking. I knew that you and Matt were having problems and I didn’t want to cause anymore issues between the two of you. He promised me that you were going to be filled in, I really did think that he was going to tell you before things got out of control. He told me he would let you know what they were doing when he got back. And then he disappeared I couldn’t- I wouldn’t be the one to add this to your burdens. I kept it from you because I wanted to protect you. I’ve lived with this secret for so long, I didn’t know when the right time to tell you or even if I should because it changes nothing.”

“Abby. I love you but I… you held onto this for years?” She shook her head slightly; tears forming in her eyes. “And now…I let _him_ into my life-into my school. I am responsible for the safety of these kids and Joe was-is…”

“I didn’t know that part, Rachel. Matt wasn’t exactly forthcoming with that information!” I snapped before lowing my voice. “My god, Rachel if I would’ve known who is was-is, I would’ve told you.”

“Would you?” Her voice was so small, “because you guys always did this. Always ran off into the night together, saving the day trying to protect me by going off on your own. And I want to believe that you would’ve told me but Abby… my own husband didn’t even tell me about who our best friend really was, what was actually going on.”

“I’m your sister, it’s different.” I tried to grab her hand again, but she flinched and the words I was going to say formed a lump in my throat that I couldn’t get out. “Rachel, I…I know it’s too late to change anything. I-I’m just sorry.”

She nodded, “I know. And I know you meant well; you always do but I need...time to process all this.”

“I know you’re hurting but Matt was important to me too. And I lo- they were a part of my life too.” I closed my eyes at my slip up and hoped she wouldn’t notice; it had escaped my lips before I could stop it. “Okay… okay.”

“Abby,” I opened my eyes and her head tilted, her curious eyes questioning me. “What happened between you two?”

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing worth mentioning.” I picked up the glass of wine and drained it in a couple of gulps. "Besides, I didnt want to make it awk-I didn't want to create any problems." 

Her face morphed into one of understanding. “You could’ve told me, I always thought you too had... but he didn't-I didn’t know… when.”

“I mean it was always…but nothing happened until after Matt’s funeral. We went on that mission in Istanbul.” My eyes burned from blinking back tears, but I refused to spill them for _him_. “And then it-we…”

I laughed but it sounded tinny, echoed across the walls. “It doesn’t matter now, your husband’s dead and the man I lo-cared about, the man you... let into this school is a part of the organization that killed him. You always said I had a shitty track record with men.”

She leaned over, her arms pulling me in for an embrace and I felt some of the tension in my body dissipate. “I’m sorry too. It’s not-I can’t put this all on you, you didn’t know.”.

I heard her sniffle as my arms wrapped around her, my fingers stroking her back gently. “We’re going to be okay.”

We stayed like that for a while, trying to give each other whatever comfort we could. Slowly, I got up off the couch and headed for the door. “You should try and get some sleep; we’ve got a full day tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I just got to finish this report first.” She said quietly, fixing her ponytail as my hand reached for the door handle. “You know I love you.”

“Yeah sis,” I turned around and gave her a small smile. “I love you too.”

  


_Darling, this was just as hard, as when they pulled me apart._  
_Don’t want no other shade of blue but you.  
_ _No other sadness in the world would do._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, thoughts are always appreciated.


End file.
